the mean girl

As a woman I’m sure you’re well aware of the ‘mean girl’ phenomena. I’m not even talking about the famous movie, although it does relate… but no, i’m talking about the mean girl culture that has proved to be more rampant than it was some years ago. That being said, it’s always existed in schools – from primary all the way to college. It’s even found its way to social media.

Females have always had to compete against each other whether it’s for jobs, accomplishments, men, marriage and so on. The problem with this is that society doesn’t seem to notice it. Going all the way back, society has always characterised women as peaceful, caring and less likely to openly disagree compared to men. We definitely remember our parents telling us how unladylike it is to be aggressive and assertive at the risk of never finding a husband otherwise.

Man, this shit is fucking ridiculous.

You could meet a mean girl at any stage in life, even adulthood. Many of them are still trying to find out who they are and what personality will get them the attention, cliques and popularity they want. The nice and sweet girl you once knew becomes more bitchy, catty and mean as a way of gaining the acceptance of the ‘it’ girl and access to her clique.

The ‘it’ or alpha girl tends to use her leadership skills negatively. It’s her clique, her word is law and nobody dares to go against that unless they feel like being alienated from everybody else. The ‘it’ girl loves the control she has over others. She doesn’t care for the individualism of others in her group.

I’ve seen this phenomena shift to social media recently and maybe it’s been going on for a while, I don’t know, but what I do know is that it has become so obvious and a tad bit scary if I’m being honest.



Social Media Mean Girls (SMMG) struggle with envy, they are appearance and status-focused, belong to a clique, have friendship troubles and have control issues.

These girls always seem to want what someone else has. My sis made a joke about the mean girls over here going broke trying to keep up with the American chicks  and it really had me in stitches even though it’s dead true. They’re always envious about something. From something  as basic as looks to a successful business. They’ll spread rumours, boycott events and even try to destroy their target’s relationships and friendships just to come out on top.

SMMG are almost always overly concerned with the small things like their hair, clothes, face, make-up and weight and because they’ve done the most to ensure that they’re a 10 in this department, they pick on those that don’t seem to care a lot for it. Making fun of another woman’s hair, fashion sense and make up even though it is not a priority for them. I meannnnnnnn, there are more important things to channel your energy into, right?

But, sis, I thought the whole point was to empower and help each other? Anyway.

Some of these women base entire friendships on the importance of appearance and have a mighty good time discussing those that they believe aren’t on their level.

Status is very important to a SMMG. They always seem to be obsessed with what someone thinks of them even though they swear that they don’t. Funny. Having been friends with one in the past, its amazing how much effort goes into analysing how everything looks to others, even those they don’t know. Including what they’re wearing, what they’re driving and what guy they’re currently fucking with.

Being status-focused also means they have a strong desire to be at the top of the social ladder. Doing anything to get there even if it means using people and if they believe another woman is a threat to their status or popularity, they feel no way eliminating them. I mean eliminate in the scariest way possible too.

Theres nothing wrong with a little competition, in fact, I think it’s healthy. It gives us the push we need to be that much better and to strive for more, however, when competing against one another becomes catty and malicious, it may be time to step back and analyse the toxic behaviour.

Female empowerment goes back to creating an environment that allows individualism to thrive, allowing other women to be themselves, to feel comfortable and learn from their mistakes.

Everyday there are women that are still being abused, raped, mistreated and murdered. There are women that are being told they can’t get an education and get the job they want. There are women being told they aren’t good enough and being denied opportunities they are perfect for. Hell, there are millions of women still being paid less than men in 2017. Yet, for some reason, women still continue to turn against one another for the pettiest reasons.

Women that empower other women around them can make a huge change.

Celebrating one another proves that strength lies in being united.





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